more than your music?

ok, so the currently thing is just too much for me. but yeah. i was talking to tyler and he told me something that really hit me. im not gonna tell ya'll what it was, just know it hit me hard. but i really want to love him and i do, but i dont know how. i know how i could be, but im not really sure how to do it. he is so special to me and i know im special to him, but i feel like i still have this guard up. i wanna give him my all. i want to love him so much. im just scared. i dont wanna put my heart on the line and have it hurt. so right now, im walking on thin ice, not knowing what to do. i need help people. i love my boyfriend, i'm just scared to get hurt. so yeah, im gonna clean my room and cry. ttyl.

2 in 1 day?

Currently
listening: Kanye shuffle
mood: fantastic
why?: im just feelin good

yeah. i went out with the boyfriend today. we had fun. we walked around hiram for about 5 hours. and we went on our first date at chilli's lol. wooo. we have this random connetion and it's something we'd only understand. [blueberry muffin]. but walking around and crap made we realize how much i love my little town. idk why that was on my mind like the whole time but it was. i really dont care how much ppl bash it. if you look at it, it nice and clean and better than living in the middle of the woods [even though you may feel we do]. idk, im just rambling. i stink so im taking a bath like now. im gonna post some pics. random of course. i love you. i love tyler. out.

young moola baby!

Currently
listening: my sexy ass boyfriend's new beat [he made me write that]
mood: giggly
why?: idk

omg. im so listening to that put on remix. it was pretty damn hard. kinda like me. lol but lately, i've been chillin. i spent the night at chelsea's last weekend. it was fun. nothing better than hanging with the bestie and second family. we saw dark knight!!! it was so good. heath ledger didnt deserve to die. he was a great actor......i started this thing at like 10 and now it's 1. i've on the phone with ty for like the past couple of hours. ....i love him [tee hee hee]. lol i'm really thinking about starting up a story or either picking up one of my old ones. it seems like i was happier when i was writing. it's better than just sitting still all day. but anyways, im HELLA sleepy. Good night loves. MUAH!

R.I.P Heath Ledger.

today is that day.

Currently
listening: Chromeo- Fancy Footwork
mood: happy
why?: umm you'll see


omfg. im totally happy. tyler finally asked me out and it feels awesome. it was at our spot! super duper romantic for no apparent reason. so yeah, this shall be maked in history and remembered for forever. :) and my mommy was happy for us........my daddy...not so much. my brothers dont even know. "/ but im happy so thats all that matters. i guess we'll see where it goes from here. hopefully far. so i guess y'all gone have to stay tuned! lol other than that, lifes good, like the phones. i think thats about it. i love you ppl. :)

am i insane or do i really see heaven in your eyes?

Currently
listening: Amy Winehouse feat. Jay-Z- Rehab [Remix]
mood: happy
why?: life's good


hello fags! lol kidding lovers. I LOVE Y'ALL! [my baby just make a touchdown]. Well yeah, I've been bored but tyler, chelsea, and azia have been keeping me entertained. i'm doing this babysitting thing at jasia's house tomorrow and wednesday. CANT WAIT! i get to play the game ON DECK! lol. swear he need to just be in the NFL and get it over with. [he just came back in the game and is really excited about it] i still love him though. :) oh yeah, if you didnt know, chelsea cut all that long sexy hair off, and now it's short and beautiful! welcome to the club babes! :) [& he's talking about someone tripping. they could have gotten hurt. thats mean lol] well yeah, i'm talking about a whole lotta nothing. i'm gonna talk about something for real.

So, i just realized I'm turning 17 and it's like hella scary. i get in these moods sometimes and over think the future but whatever. it's scary thinking about being on my own, in college, without parents, meeting new ppl, pursuing my career, ect ect. And it's crazy how im gonna take the SAT's in about 3 months.....UGH! it makes me stressed. I'm gonna go have a coke and smile and forget about it. I just wanted to let ya'll in my mind for a second.

[listening to my daddy]

[bitch got new shoes]

[keimonte. my love]

[cierra. i love her]

Fresh...Uh huh....Yes She Is.

Currently
listening: Lupe F.- Sunshine
mood: fantastic
why?: i'm talking to the most amazing guy in the world

Tyler came over yesterday & it was great. We had a really special moment when we were outside. Thats between us though. lol. Lately, life has been great. My family is on really good terms. My freinds are all happy. My love life......freakin great. I'm just happy. But yeah, ummmm, idk what to talk about, so im going now.

Someone that wants you. Someone who'll never leave you.

Currently
listening: Mutya Buena- Just A Little Bit
feeling: happy
why?: you'll see.



OMG! My last 2 post kinda put it all out there that I don't have to best of luck with the opposite sex, but just recently, I started talking to this guy and I really think he was brought into my life for a reason. He makes me happy, even when I'm ready to breakdown. Yesterday, we stayed up for 24 hours just talking. lol. It was fun though. It was something about him that made me just wanna stay up.....and saying that made me think of that little saying, "you really like someone when you can't sleep because reality is way better." I'm guessing thats what I was feeling. But last night, we were on the phone and he told me about his past and how he was such a bad person and what not. I told him about how I'd been hurt deeply in the past and how I'm scared to open up because of it. I've NEVER in my life told anyone why I felt that way and I told him. So, I'm really looking forward to our future (whatever that may be) and I'm willing to let him lead me through this thing (holding my hand the whole time). In my last post, I said that guy was perfect.......I lied. Tyler is. :)

officially missing you.

Currently
listerning: Amy Winehouse shuffle
mood: content
why: i'm realizing things and accepting them

I've been thinking about blogging and turns out this really helps me get out all of my emotion. But anyway, that last post is so far from my mind right now. I was surfing the net and randomly thought of my freshman year crush [ridiculous huh?]. Well let me finish. He was the only guy I can honestly say I really liked for all the right reasons in a LONG time. He was nice, respectful, liked me for me, never really pissed me off [lol], and had a good head on his shoulders, pretty much. And he was very attractive. So yeah, he was in PE when I was in weight training and I'd see him right before I went to Coach Pilgram's class and right after that. He broke up with his girlfriend and there was an undeniable connection between us. Well, maybe a month after I start liking him, he has to go to another school. I was so upset. And I remember, he kissed me on the forehead before Coach Pilgram's class on his last day and he hugged for like forever in PE.

Well, I say all that to say, I'm missing him. We kept in touch after he left and we always talked about how we would defiantly be together if he still went to MHS. I don't think it's just him I'm missing. I'm missing the idea of a guy that knows how he's feelings and ain't trying to cover it up for nobody. I think our situation is God telling me how I'm suppose to be treated and how I'm suppose to feel with a significant other. I had butterflies every time I saw him, spoke to him, messaged him, called him.....everything about him was perfect.

Well I'm done talking. Message me on myspace. Comment. Just get at me.