Real Girl.

Currently
Listening: Mutya Buena: Real Girl
Mood: good
why?: just made a playlist of all my "feel good" songs!

So my last post, "The BreakUp" was taken down, but it will be back up soon. Every girl knows what hearbreak feels like & if you don't...LUCKY YOU! :P LOL. but yeah, I was so torn up that night. I was letting my situation get the best of me. But NO MORE i tell you! No more meltdown from Jasmine Nicole! I am just going to look at the present & the future. Who knows what God has planned for me? He knows my story & what will happen. He obviously didn't want me in that relationship. That would explain the 'out of body type' experience i had while ending it. JESUS TOOK THE WHEEL! I'm gonna stop beating myself up about it now. It's over & done. Now I just have to wipe my hands clean of the situation. Release & relax, in the words of The Quiet Storm. Maybe my senior year is suppose to be this way. Single, fun, happy times. No stress....besides school & getting moneys for college LOL. So that is my main focus at the moment. I have my whole life to feel for someone like i felt for JQ. Al least I know what falling in love feels like now. That's a positive. So as far as dating goes, I think I'll be open in a couple months. Nothing serious. I love you's are out of the question for a while. I never understood how people stay in a relationship. Work work work! & the work I have NO time for! :) LOL. Guy friends are what I'm going to be looking for & that is really it. So that taste of regret I was talking about got SOUR. Now the sweet taste of letting go is creeping up....& I'm loving it baby!

xoxo
Jupiter

The Break Up.

Currently
Listening: Amy Winehouse- Wake Up Alone
Mood: drained
why?: READ lol

So I broke up with my boyfriend.

Idk man. My mind is running a mile a minute at ALL TIMES since July 30th. When I say I loved him (& I still do), I mean that with all of my heart. Our relationship was so good & I fucked it up. I wouldn't be surprised if he wanted nothing whatsoever to do with me & I don't blame him for that. The pain I feel is almost unbearable. I even called last night because I already missed the late night comversations. I've been filling my time with unnecessary things, like trying to go any & everywhere & even playing the X-Box. But it's the time when I'm alone in my room & my thoughts start to take over. Thinking about the talk leading up to me making the decision to let it go. Thinking about the weight that lifted off my shoulders. Then thinking about the way he says things, his kisses through the phone, the way he said "I love you too"...it makes me think "Damn, I should have tried to talk it out. Tell him what I was feeling. Maybe, just maybe, I put this all on myself." It's easy to break up with a person you have lost feelings for, but what if your feelings are still burning hot? It's the hardest thing to endure. I still think & talk about him like we're still together, then I think "OH YEAH! We're over." That is when the tears flow. That's when I feel the hole in my chest. That is when the sour taste of regret creeps up. Yummy =/. I could say "I'm sorry" to him a million & one times, if I hurt him. But I'm slowly becoming more content with the fact that he may not want me anymore. It's hard, but I'll be ok, i guess. This post is long, but I haven't even spilled half of my soul. I'll ttyl

xoxo
Jupiter